What Is The 3 Love Theory? Everything You Need To Know

Team MyMuse - Sep 11, 2024

Discover the 3 Love Theory: a journey through three stages of love that lead to your ultimate connection. Ready to dive into the phases of finding ‘the one’?

Love isn’t simple. Some people find it at first sight, others after a few tries, and for some, it takes several breakups before things finally make sense. There’s no set formula. But there’s a popular idea called the 3 Love Theory that breaks down our journey to "ultimate love" into three stages. Let’s look at what it means.

So, What Is The 3 Love Theory?

It suggests that we experience three distinct types of love throughout our lives, with each one shaping us for the next. While no one knows exactly who created this theory, it’s believed to be inspired by anthropologist Helen Fisher’s research, which explains that relationships typically evolve through three stages: lust, intimacy, and commitment.

The First Love

This is the one that hits you fast and hard. It’s idealistic and innocent, often driven by attraction. Everything feels perfect—like you’re having a date night in a rom-com movie. You can’t imagine ever fighting, and it feels like this could last forever. But let’s be honest—this love is usually more about young hormones than anything else. It’s fun while it lasts, but it’s rarely built to go the distance.

First love teaches you about the thrill of infatuation and the pain of heartbreak. It’s the first time you experience the highs and lows of a relationship, and yeah, it can sting. But it also shows you that heartbreak isn’t the end of the world.

A woman saying, “Time heals everything.”

The Second Love

The second love is where things start to get real. It’s more intense, emotional, and often full of ups and downs, without any smoothness you’d experience with a lubricant gel. This time, you’re more invested because there’s a deeper connection—it’s not just about physical attraction anymore. But it’s also the love that can be the most challenging. It’s passionate, but it can be turbulent, and more often than not, it ends in heartbreak.

But this love teaches you a lot. It makes you realize what you want and, more importantly, what you don’t want in a relationship. You learn about love languages, setting boundaries, self-respect, and the importance of emotional compatibility. It’s a love that’s here to show you what a relationship shouldn’t look like.

The Third Love

And then, there’s the third love, the last one in the Three Love Theory. This one is different. It’s not as dramatic as the first two—it’s calm, steady, and feels like home. It’s a balance of everything you’ve learned from the first two loves. There’s attraction, yes, but also a deep emotional connection that feels secure and reliable. It’s not perfect, but it works in a way that feels right. You can play AntiDate card game for couples to make sure you’re really compatible.

This love teaches you about acceptance—of yourself, your partner, and the relationship. It’s not about constant battles or trying to make something work that isn’t meant to. It’s about comfort, trust, and mutual growth. It’s the kind of love that reminds you that relationships can be stable without being boring.

In the Happy End(ing)

Each of these loves teaches us something new about ourselves and what we need in a partner. The road might be bumpy with some heartbreak along the way, but eventually, it leads to a love that feels meaningful and lasting. The ultimate goal is to find that third love—the one where everything just clicks.