We’re often so caught up in today's fast-paced world, that spending time with our partners can fall by the wayside. Everyone wants to show their partner how much they mean to them and stay connected with them, but they sometimes don't know how. Increased connection through our screens can sometimes lead to a disconnection IRL, and it can be hard to navigate your partner's changing needs and wants.
If you want to learn more about your partner (and yourself), it can help to think about their love language. Dr. Gary Chapman proposed that every individual has a primary and secondary love language. And that each one represents the type of emotional connection that they prefer. Knowing what expressions of love you connect most with can help build deeper emotional bonds with those you care about, and make you a better communicator. Because having positive relationships starts with knowing (and loving) yourself.
Read on for the 5 Love Languages for Couples:
Words of Affirmation
Verbal praises are the first form of love languages for couples. People who speak this major love language appreciate kind words and vocal recognition for their contributions, including regularly voicing things like "I love you." To tap into this love language, you should simply express your appreciation for the tiny things your partner does for you, or tell them what you enjoy about them. Praise them in front of friends, family, and on social media (if that’s their jam). People of this love language also appreciate receiving love letters and texts.
Acts of Service
People who choose this love language for couples are doers rather than talkers. They love showing their affection through acts of kindness. They seek to lighten the load, and give their partner more time to themselves. It can be as easy as washing the dishes, laundry, cooking, helping with the kids, or just making morning coffee, regardless of who's “turn” it is. Remember that these offerings must be genuine and not made out of duty; if you complain about it later, it will not be well received.
For those who speak this love language, quality time spent with their partner comes over everything else. They make their love known by making time for their relationship and making their partners' needs a priority. The easiest way to do this? Put your phone down, close your laptop, and ask your partner how their day went– and then, actually listen. From enjoying a post-dinner stroll, cooking together, or simply cuddling on the couch over Netflix– quality time takes different forms for each of us. Some hallmarks of quality time include active listening, eye contact, complete undivided attention– all helping to rekindle and retain the spark in the relationship.
Of all the love languages for couples, some experience profound closeness through physical contact. Even a small amount of human touch may go a long way with them. People who speak this love language crave bodily connection. This can take many forms– from kissing, holding hands, snuggling, having sex, to simply a back rub with massage oil. For people who prioritize this love language, physical closeness and touch may be extremely encouraging and serve to strengthen their powerful emotional bonds. Bringing in new ways to experience touch, such as with a full body massager, could be a great way to explore this love language for couples.
This love language for couples is for people who enjoy a more tangible expression of affection. They like both giving and receiving presents. If you are not a fan of this language in relationships, be sure you are not "rejecting" your partner's emotions when they offer you presents. It is their manifestation of love in the form of a physical good. What’s important to remember is that it’s the thought that counts, not the monetary worth. Often, gifts aren’t even things, but can be as simple as a love letter, organising an experience together,
The present also demonstrates how much work was used in making the gift. It might be a painstakingly handcrafted present or just a difficult-to-obtain grand gesture gift that symbolizes how much they mean to you.
So, which of the five are you? Which of these people is your partner? Love languages for couples have to be identified by each other, you'll find it simple to put it into practice. It only takes a little effort and focus to speak your partner's love languages in relationships.