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Why You Don't Need To Be Ashamed Of One Night Stands

Normalise casual sex to liberate and empower your sexual self.

One night stands are the sexual equivalent of carpe diem. With the increase in online dating, they’re definitely becoming more and more commonplace. Even if you haven’t indulged in one yet, it’s safe to say that the idea of a no strings attached or ‘a night in Vegas’ vibe has definitely crossed your mind. So why not just scrap the stigma that surrounds this notion with so much shame? We at MyMuse want to shake things up, question some norms and uncover why one night stands could actually be a good idea sometimes. 

If you’re not relationship ready

Sometimes you’re just DTF and not ready to spend the rest of your life with the person you met for a drink at 10 PM. It doesn’t mean that you’re nit-picking, it could simply mean that you’re not in a commitment friendly space in your life. Relationships take work (can we get an Amen?), and we can’t always feel compelled to scope for soulmates every time we desire some intimacy. 

“Many of us feel shame around having sex with people who we know are not potential partners/mates because we’re taught it’s not what we’re ‘supposed’ to do,” say Carol Queen and Shar Rednour, authors of The Sex & Pleasure Book. We’ve all had phases where we’ve had casual sex, so we’d like to supplement the search for the ‘The One’ with ‘The One For Tonight’ (and maybe tomorrow morning.)

You are the boss of your body

You (and nobody else ) is the one in-charge when it comes to decisions on navigating intimacy with confidence and conviction. Whether that means sleeping with the groom’s best friend at a wedding or flying solo with a full body massager like Pulse. When it comes to carnal matters, you make the executive decisions and pick the poison that suits you. 

It’s great for networking 

No seriously. I know so many people who befriend their casual dates and go on to work with them. The more people you meet the better your chances of getting to reduce your 7 degrees of separation to Deepika Padukone. Just kidding. Thinking of one-night stands as networking reduces expectations and just makes it about one thing: meeting new people. Like with networking, the more people you meet, the more you learn about what’s out there and more importantly figure out what you want.

Glide on over to: Owning Your Sexuality

Sometimes you need human contact

Sometimes you just need an extra pair of hands to scratch that itch. We at MyMuse love a date night with a full body massager but love it even more when it comes to partnered play. Knowing your body all too well might rob you of the surprises a one night stand could. The future of sex is not full of gadgets but having someone to hold them makes the exploration from awesome to Oh!-some. 

Exploration with experimentation

Everyone is guilty of trying a few flavours of ice cream before settling on a favourite. Having a few one-night stands allows you to broaden your perspectives and discover different avenues of pleasure. You can try new things, learn about different people’s bodies, learn about their sexcapades and all this with no added pressure of mapping out a committed relationship. 

Not your cup of tea? That’s OK! If there’s one golden rule, it’s go with the flow. One night stands are not a one size fits all approach. So if you’d rather glide with some lube and your favourite full body massager or long-term partner, that's great too. Focus on sex within a relationship that you value. How much sex you have or do not have, regardless of context, says nothing about who you are as a person.

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