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Musings

Dating Anxiety Got You Down? Here’s How To Rise Above!

Team MyMuse - Oct 30, 2024

Dating anxiety, who? Shake off those first-date jitters and get ready to live, laugh, and love your way to a second date!


I’ll be honest I’ve been ghosted, stood up, and felt that pit of anxiety in my stomach right before a date. There was one time I spent an hour picking an outfit, just to end up sweating through it before I even left the house. Sound familiar? If you’ve ever felt nervous about dating, you’re not alone. Dating anxiety is real, and it can feel like a rollercoaster. But don’t worry I’ve got your back, and I’m here to share a few tips on how to rise above it.

What is Dating Anxiety?

Dating anxiety is that knot of nerves you get when thinking about a date whether it’s swiping through profiles, texting someone new, or meeting up for coffee. It’s a mix of excitement and dread. For me, it’s the overthinking: Will I say something awkward? Will they like me? Am I enough? But here’s the thing most people feel the same way. We all want to make a great impression, but that fear of being rejected or messing up can lead to serious jitters.

Why Do We Get Dating Anxiety?

There’s a lot of pressure to be perfect when dating. Social media doesn’t help either. We see people romanticizing everything, from the perfect first date night to happily-ever-after stories, and it sets some sky-high expectations. Ever caught yourself imagining your entire future with someone before even going on a date? Yeah, me too. It’s called anticipatory anxiety, and it’s a sneaky way of turning a simple date into a major life event in your head​.

A man talking about anxiety

Ways to Overcome Dating Anxiety

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

First things first dating anxiety is normal. Take a moment to check in with yourself before a date. Are you feeling nervous, excited, or maybe a little bit of both? Give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up, and remember, there’s no “right” way to feel. Naming these feelings is powerful it brings them out into the open, where they lose a little of their power over you. Try journaling or talking to a friend about how you’re feeling before the date. Sometimes, just getting those thoughts out helps to lessen their impact.

2. Focus on the Present

Stop projecting into the future. One of the best tips I learned was to ground myself in the moment. Ask yourself, What do I actually know about this person right now? Avoid building them up in your head before you’ve had a chance to meet and vibe​. By grounding yourself in the present, you’re less likely to spiral into “what if” thoughts.

3. Shift Your Mindset

What if you stopped thinking of dates as high-stakes interviews?Rather than aiming for perfect, aim for authentic. Think of each date as a learning experience whether it’s a chance to find out what you like, what you don’t, or what you need in a relationship. Lowering the stakes allows you to be yourself and enjoy the experience. Worst case? You don’t vibe, but hey you got out of the house and maybe tried a new restaurant.

4. Stay Rational

Yes, rejection sucksb but it’s not the end of the world. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking each date is “the one.” But dating is more like a process of elimination than anything else. Not every person you meet will be a perfect match, and that’s a good thing! Staying rational can help you avoid unnecessary heartbreak and keep your expectations in check. I remember getting so worked up after being ghosted once, thinking I’d never find anyone. Spoiler alert: I did move on, and so will you.

5. Positive Self-Talk

Before your next date, try hyping yourself up. Seriously. Tell yourself you’re amazing and fun to be around, because you are! You can also use Pulse full-body massager to work the nerves off and feel a lil sexy!The more confident you feel, the less pressure you’ll put on the outcome of the date

6. Spotting the Green Flags

So often, we’re on the lookout for red flags, but green flags deserve some attention too! These are signs that they’re genuinely into you: consistent communication, making plans to see you, and remembering little things you share. Green flags can ease your anxiety and remind you that they’re just as invested. Next time, try noticing the positive signs instead of overanalyzing potential negatives!

A man saying ‘marriage material’

Dealing with Rejection and Moving Forward

Rejection is never easy, but it’s a part of dating. Instead of seeing it as a failure, try reframing it as a learning opportunity. Every date, even the bad ones, bring you one step closer to finding the right match. And remember, you’re amazing just as you are whether or not someone else sees it right away.

You’ve Got This!

Dating isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being you. The right person will appreciate you, quirks and all. So take a deep breath, put yourself out there, and have fun with it. You can always count on your self-care products to take care of you until you find someone. You’ve got this!

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