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An Introvert’s Guide To Make The First Move

How to spark magic for anyone who’d rather take things slow and steady instead of fast and dirty? Follow each of these steps to impress a potential partner without making grand gestures and flash mobs. You can be an introvert and still wow your date using these subtle techniques

Whether you’re single, taken or poly, there’s one thing we can all agree on- Dating is hard. 

Regardless of what age, sexual orientation or corner of the globe you belong to, it never seems to get easy, even if you know what your love language is. If Tiffany Haddish and Jamie Fox have dating trouble, do the rest of us even have a chance? 

Point is, that it can be hard to put yourself out there and be vulnerable with a potential partner. Now imagine that with the added pressure of being an introvert. If you’d rather stay home and binge another series than get dressed and be social, we see you.

But if you are looking for a partner-in-crime you have to wear pants, look presentable,  put yourself out there and fight your instincts to run away. And since Joey’s “How you doin’?” line doesn’t always work like a charm, we’ve got a few pointers to help you make the first move.

Textual Is Sexual

Girl texting by her bed


Texting is where introverts are in their element. It's easier to make a presentation when there's no pressure of social anxiety or having to deal with people in a loud bar. You get the time to process what’s someone’s said and come up with a smart witty reply that you know you’ve got in you. Let your bold side shine on text so your date is impressed even before they meet you. 

MyMuse ProTip: Suggest meeting up and making the ultimate first move. And make it a fun proposition: a hot wings challenge at a restaurant or a bet that you can throw back a pint faster than them. Cute interactions and a few laughs are bound to happen.

A Pre-Date Ritual

Having a routine is helpful for psyching yourself up for a date when the nerves start kicking in. For me, that routine skewed towards engaging my senses like using my Palm massager for a few mins and then doing my elaborate skincare routine.  But the part of my routine that felt actually soothing was having on 90s nostalgia tunes while I got ready and shook off all the stress in my body.  I don't know if that, specifically, would work for you, but try to discover whatever calming ritual feels effective before you go out.

The Sweet Spot

Chandler & Janice at a café


If you shine in the comfort and safety of sameness, stick to a go-to spot instead of planning the typical movie date night. Being somewhere you love, whether it's a bar or a café or somewhere else, will put you in a safe space.

And tbh, it takes off the stress when some texts “I’m okay with wherever” and you’re immediately thrown in tizzy of picking a place that will reflect your chill, relaxed and casual persona. Plus, you know where all the exits and the loo are if you need to take a breather.

Subtlety Is Your Strong Suit

In case you haven’t got the memo,  minimalism is king. You don’t have to make a grand gesture right your first move. Just make sure your soirée is simple, subtle and has those little details that will make both of you smile. It’s not about one significant first move; it’s about the little moves you make before it. So, pick up your date at their house, read the book they’re reading or notice small details about how they’re dressed. 

Smile, Please

Woman saying “Smiling is my go to”


Making engaging conversations, especially on a first date, can be tricky even for extroverts. So, when all else fails, smile and compliment them. I promise this works better than asking how many siblings they have or what they think is good as a birthday gift for their wife. 

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