Situationship Rules 101: How To Confront Your Almost-Partner
Mymuse Team - May 31, 2024
Unfortunately for us, the only way out is to confront your situationship and their rules. Let me help you prepare for this turning point in your romantic life and test your situationship rules.
Welcome to the wild, weird, and wonderful world of situationship. It’s that zone where you're more than friends but not quite in a relationship. Having been in one during my late teens, you know it shaped who I am and took me through the greatest and the most awful phases of my life. And you know what I realized? It is even more tiring than being single or in a relationship because you’re living the worst of both worlds.
Unfortunately for us, the only way out is to confront your situationship and their rules. Let me help you prepare for this turning point in your romantic life and test your situationship rules.
Making Peace with Your Situationship
Let me start with this- you don’t have to do it. Not everyone is up for the big talk, and that’s okay. If you’re not ready to confront your almost-partner or you’ve decided to make peace with the lack of commitment, you do you! But make sure you’re protecting yourself enough to be able to enjoy being in a situationship, no matter what your sexual orientation is.
Understand and accept the nature of your situationship. It’s important to recognize that not all relationships are meant to lead to long-term commitment. Sometimes, they’re just meant to be enjoyed for what they are during date nights, without any pressure to define them. Try limiting how much emotional energy you invest. Keep your options open and don’t close yourself off to other potential relationships.
So, Why Confrontation?
Now, confrontation sounds a bit scary, right? But don’t worry, you’re not here to start a battle or interrogate; you’re here to seek clarity and ensure everyone’s on the same page. Plus, wouldn’t it be nice to know if this could be more than just a fling?
Know Thyself
Before you approach your not-quite-bae, take a moment for some self-reflection. What do you want out of this situationship? A clear commitment? More clarity? Or maybe just some reassurance that you’re on the same page? Knowing what you want is half the battle. Ask yourself these questions-
- Are you happy with the current state of things?
- Do you want to make things official?
- Are you feeling insecure and need more clarity?
Prepare for Any Outcome
Be ready for any response – they might be thrilled, confused, or even unsure about what they want. They might feel all of these feels about why you are asking this question NOW. Stay calm and composed, regardless of the outcome. If they need time to think, let them have it so you can get a well-thought answer and not a rushed one.
Breaking the Ice Without Sinking the Ship
Approaching the "what are we?" topic can feel like disarming a bomb. You’re ready to get rid of the ticking but what if you end up blowing up with it? Trust me, it doesn’t have to be explosive and you’re not really going to get burned. Once you think you’re mentally prepared to have this conversation, pick a time where you’re both relaxed and not doing much so the conversation can go on and reach a conclusion. The key is to sound curious, not confrontational. It’s only you and me who need to know that it is, in fact, a confrontation.
Stress Is A Part Of It
We get it—vulnerability is scary and such conversations might not be as smooth as a lubricant gel. But if you’re looking for clarity, honesty is your best bet. Start by highlighting the positives (because who doesn’t love a compliment?) and then gently steer the conversation towards what you need.
Example: “You’re amazing, and I love the time we spend together. Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit uncertain about what we are. Can we talk about it?”
What’s Next?
Depending on how the conversation goes, you’ll have a clearer idea of where you stand. If you both want to make things official, congrats! If not, it’s time to decide whether you’re okay with continuing as is or if it’s better to part ways and find someone to play AntiDate Card Game For First Dates with. Whatever the outcome, give yourself a pat on the back for having the courage to speak up.
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