How To Have The Exclusivity Talk Without The Awkward Vibes
Team MyMuse - Oct 23, 2024
Learn how to have the exclusivity talk without awkward vibes! Here's your guide to a stress-free convo with your partner.
Remember that time you were totally crushing on someone, and you were pretty sure they felt the same way? But then you’re not really sure. Dating these days is kind of like watching a reality show: you never quite know where things are going, and the suspense can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. You’ve been seeing someone, things are heating up, and you’re loving every minute of it. But... you’re starting to wonder “Is this mutually exclusive dating? How to have the exclusivity talk?” This one’s for you.
Why Bother with the Exclusivity Talk?
It’s simple: clarity! Labels in relationships bring structure, and they help you both understand where you stand. Nobody wants to assume exclusivity only to find out the other person doesn’t share that view. “The Talk” isn’t just about avoiding heartbreak it’s about ensuring you’re on the same page, creating a foundation for a genuine connection without the noise of doubt.
Signs It’s Time to Talk Exclusivity
If you want to start dating someone exclusively, there are often signs she loves you and is ready for commitment. Here are a few hints that it’s time to level up your relationship status:
- You’re Regulars in Each Other’s Lives: When you’re seeing each other so often that you have an unspoken weekend tradition, it’s probably a sign.
- Future Plans Start Popping Up: You’re planning things weeks (or even months) in advance and filling in The Couple’s PlayBook, which shows you’re both thinking long-term.
- Meet-and-Greet with Friends: If you’re already mingling with each other’s crew, they probably view you as a couple. More so if you’re dating your best friend. Shouldn’t you know if that’s accurate?
- They’re The One: If you start to feel like they’re the only one you want to use the best lubricant oils and gels with, you gotta take action.
How To Have The Exclusivity Talk
Pick the Perfect Time and Place
One of the worst ways to do this is mid-dinner or, worse, in bed right after a romantic moment. Talk about killing the vibe! Instead, wait for a calm, casual moment when both of you are relaxed. Maybe during a lazy Sunday morning, on a scenic walk, or while you’re just hanging out watching a show.
Also, do it in person. Texting this conversation can come off as impersonal and a little too casual. Having it face-to-face gives you both a chance to read each other’s expressions and react accordingly.
Bring It Up Casually, But Clearly
How to have the exclusivity talk? You don’t have to be all, “So, what are we?” Instead, try easing into it. Here are a few openers to make it feel like a natural part of the conversation:
- Ask About Their Expectations: “Hey, I’m really enjoying spending time with you. Just curious what are you looking for these days?”
- Refer to Past Conversations: “Remember when we were talking about how hard it is to find someone chill to hang out with? Yeah, I’m glad we found that with each other. But… where do you see this going?”
Bringing it up with curiosity rather than a hard question can help them feel more comfortable sharing their side.
Express Your Feelings Honestly
You’ve started the conversation, and now it’s time to lay your cards on the table. Express why you’re ready to take things to the next level. Maybe say something like:
“I really like where this is going and feel like we’re in a great place. I’d love to see where we can go if we’re exclusive.”
Being direct (but not too intense) helps set the tone. Also, avoid ultimatums here; this isn’t a negotiation but an expression of what you’re looking for.
Be Prepared for Any Outcome
Here’s where things get real: you need to be ready for their answer, even if it’s not what you were hoping to hear. They might be totally onboard (score!), need some more time to think, or not be ready for exclusivity. Whatever they say, remember to respect it.
If they need time, that’s fine too. They may just need a few days to process their feelings before they’re ready to commit. If they’re not interested in exclusivity, it’s better to know now than to find out later.
Respect Their Answer and Give Space if Needed
You understood how to have the exclusivity talk and followed the whole process. But if they’re not ready for exclusivity, take it as it is don’t try to convince them. Everyone’s on their own timeline. While it’s tempting to pressure them, you don’t want to build a relationship on shaky ground. Respecting their boundaries doesn’t mean you have to put your desires and your personal massager for women aside. For example, say they’re unsure about exclusivity. It might be time to assess if you’re okay with continuing or if you’d rather seek someone with similar goals.
Had the talk? Now check these out
Play Hard Kit, Under The Sheets, Triple Satisfaction Kit
