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Musings

Got the Ick? Here's How To Get Rid Of It & Keep Loving Them

Team MyMuse - Nov 25, 2024

Love’s a rollercoaster, and let’s be honest - the ‘ick’ is just part of the ride! But hey, sometimes those quirks turn out to be the glue that sticks

So, you’re head over heels… until you suddenly find yourself cringing at the way they slurp their soup, act mushy, or still wear slim-fit jeans. Welcome to the ‘ick factor’ - that random moment of sudden repulsion. It can be frustrating and confusing, especially when everything seemed so perfect. But don’t stress! Here’s a complete guide to understanding and (hopefully) ditching the ‘ick factor’ for good.

Understanding the ‘Ick Factor’

The ‘ick factor’ is that sudden wave of “ugh!” that can hit you out of nowhere, triggered by something as small as their loud chewing or the way they type with one finger. It’s a totally normal reaction sometimes a random quirk triggers our sense of attraction in an unexpected way. Psychologists reckon it’s our subconscious flagging incompatibilities, or even our own insecurities playing out. In a nutshell, the ‘ick factor’ is more about you than them.

Common ‘Ick Factor’ Triggers

There’s no rulebook for the ‘ick factor,’ but here are some common culprits:

  • Hygiene Habits: Not brushing their teeth before morning coffee.
  • Mannerisms: Dorky laugh, scratching their beard or hair while eating, or clunky dance moves.
  • Social Behaviours: Cracking Santa-Banta jokes. But seriously, no one should crack those jokes.

Remember, these little things often reflect your personal boundaries. Before you dismiss someone over a minor quirk, let’s take a beat and break it down!

A woman telling someone they gave an ick

How to Get Rid of the ‘Ick Factor’

1. Pause and Reflect

Before you call it quits over a small ‘ick factor,’ take a deep breath. This could just be a momentary reaction our minds sometimes turn tiny quirks into big deal-breakers. Try writing down what’s bothering you, then jot down all the things you like about them. Seeing it in black and white can help you put things in perspective and remind you why you swiped right in the first place.

2. See the Big Picture

It’s easy to fixate on the one thing driving you up the wall. But before you’re tempted to run for the hills, remember that your partner is so much more than that one quirk. Think about all the times they’ve shown up for you, surprised you with coffee, or made you laugh on a bad day. Sometimes zooming out and appreciating the full picture can be easy to overcoming the ‘ick factor’.

3. Find the Humour

Laughter can turn an ‘ick factor’ into an “aww.” Try seeing their quirks as something straight out of a rom-com instead of a cringe fest. Can you turn it into an inside joke? If they have a signature way of dancing that makes you want to hide, maybe call it their “moves.” A light-hearted approach can take the sting out of the ‘ick factor’ and turn it into something you both laugh about. And hey, if it makes you laugh together, it can bring you closer.

4. Have the Kindness Talk

Sometimes the ‘ick factor’ is a little more… manageable. If their habit is something you think could use a bit of polish, a gentle nudge can go a long way. Choose your words kindly and be open chances are they’re willing to listen if it’s something that really affects you. A simple, “Hey, would you mind if we tried [an alternative]?” might just save the day.

5. Shift Your Focus to the Good Stuff

If you’re still feeling the ‘ick factor,’ one trick is to distract yourself by focusing on their best qualities. Whether it’s their kindness, their sense of humour, or the way they look at you when they are kissing you sometimes those little reminders can help bring back the butterflies.

6. Give It a Little Time

Feelings can be fickle, and what seems like a huge ‘ick factor’ now may fade in a few weeks. Give yourself the space to let things settle. The ‘ick factor’ doesn’t have to be a big deal if you’re willing to let things breathe a bit. Relationships have ups and downs, especially in the early days, so a little patience might just be the cure you’re looking for.

A man talking about being with someone

When to Trust the 'Ick Factor'

While it's possible to overcome the 'ick factor,' there are instances where it serves as a protective instinct against red flags. If the behaviour triggering the 'ick factor' aligns with your core values and boundaries, it might be a sign to reassess the relationship. Trust your intuition and prioritise your well-being.

The Ick Factor: Dealbreaker OR A Blip

In the wild ride of love and intimacy, running into the ‘ick factor’ is totally normal. The trick is knowing what it’s trying to tell you. By figuring out where that ‘ick factor’ came from and testing a few light-hearted fixes, you might just find a way to laugh it off or you might realise it’s time to part ways. Either way, every relationship is a step closer to finding what really vibes with your heart. So embrace the quirks, enjoy the journey, and trust that every little ‘ick factor’ is just bringing you closer to the love story you deserve.

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