12 Common Red Flags In Guys You Can't Afford To Overlook
Team MyMuse - Oct 14, 2024
Not all guys are keepers! Learn how to spot the red flags that scream 'trouble ahead' with these 6 key signs and safeguard your heart.
He’s charming, he’s funny, and he even remembers your favorite songs- all the biege flags. He makes you giddy with happiness. But sometimes, that excitement can blind us to the warning signs. I learned this the hard way when I once fell head-over-heels for a guy who seemed perfect on paper but had more red flags than I could imagine. Here are six red flags that I, and many others, have ignored before and why you definitely shouldn’t.
12 Common Red Flags In Guys
1. Emotional Unavailability
One of the most common red flags in guys has to be their ability to stay detached. Ever tried having a deep conversation, only to get a bland “Hmm” in return? I once dated someone who turned into a ghost at the mere mention of “feelings.” If he can’t express emotions, you’ll likely end up feeling lonely even with him and a personal massager for women.
2. Gaslighting and Manipulation
Gaslighting is more than just a buzzword. It’s when he makes you doubt your own feelings or memories smoother than the best lubricant gel & oils. I remember feeling guilty for things I hadn’t even done because my ex was a master at convincing me I was “overreacting.” One of my friends caught her ex kissing a girl but he gaslit her so hard, she believed him. They broke up 2 months later thanks to my pep talks. So, if you’re questioning your reality, it’s time to question the relationship.
3. Lack of Accountability
If we’re talking about common red flags in guys, we cannot skip on the fact that such guys never, (NEVER!) apologize. Some guys will do anything to avoid saying “sorry.” I once almost dated a guy who had an excuse for everything nothing was ever his fault. This kind of behavior only breeds resentment and can make you feel like your feelings are invalid.
4. Jealousy and Possessiveness
A little jealousy can seem endearing at first, but it can quickly snowball. Have you ever had a boyfriend who would get weirdly possessive if you even mentioned a male friend? It starts small, but soon he starts questioning every social interaction. Trust me, when someone’s insecurity starts controlling your life, it’s time to spot the red flags in your relationship and speak up.
5. Disrespecting Boundaries
If he’s constantly pushing your boundaries, whether it’s about spending time alone or wanting access to your phone, consider it a warning. Boundaries are there for a reason. My ex once snooped through my messages “just to check,” and it only escalated from there. A major common red flag in this guy that I should’ve spotted within the first week of being together.
6. Negative Treatment of Others
One of the biggest tells of common red flags in guys? How he treats people he doesn’t have to be nice to. If he’s rude to waitstaff or treats others poorly, that behavior will eventually make its way into your relationship. It’s not just a bad day; it’s a pattern of behavior you can’t change. It’s better if you focus on yourself and your Groove wand massager.
7. Constantly Talking About His Ex
Ever been on a date where he just couldn’t stop talking about his ex? At first, it might seem like he’s just being open about his past, but when it becomes a constant topic, it's a red flag. If he's still hung up on his ex, it’s a sign he’s not ready for something new. Trust me, the only thing that should be lingering in your life is the scent of your favourite MyMuse candles not his past relationship.
8. Love Bombing
If he’s showering you with affection and grand gestures right from the start, it might seem sweet. But if it feels too intense, too fast, it could be love bombing. This behaviour can be manipulative, designed to get you hooked. The initial high feels amazing, but once he has you, that attention can quickly turn into control.
9. Overly Secretive
Some mystery can be sexy, but when he’s evasive about basic details like where he’s been or who he's with that's a sign and a major common red flag in a guy. My friend’s ex was like a closed book. Every time she asked about his weekend, he'd act like she was asking for his credit card PIN. You don’t need a detective's hat to realise something's fishy when someone is that guarded.
10. Financial Irresponsibility
Now, most folks might not consider this a common red flag in a guy but we need to talk about it. This one’s often overlooked, but if he’s reckless with his money (or worse, your money!), it can lead to serious issues down the line. I once dated a guy who constantly “forgot” his wallet on dates. Guess who always ended up paying? Financial habits matter, especially when things get more serious.
11. Flirting with Others
This is one of the most common red flags in a guy. Flirting may seem harmless to some, but if your guy can't keep his charm to himself, it’s a big no-no. My friend’s boyfriend once “joked” about how hot the waitress was right in front of her! Flirty behaviour outside the relationship shows a lack of respect and boundaries. Not cute.
12. Controlling Behaviour
When a guy starts subtly controlling what you wear, who you hang out with, or how you spend your time, it’s more than just concern it’s a common red flag we often see in guys. I once dated someone who “suggested” I stop wearing my favourite outfits because they were “too revealing.” Red flags are waving, folks. If he’s trying to shape you into his ideal partner, it’s time to walk.
Stay Safe!
I can’t include all the common red flags in guys in one blog, but you should start creating your own list too. Dating isn’t about avoiding every guy with flaws, but it is about spotting patterns that can lead to toxic behavior. If you recognize any of these common red flags in dating, take a step back and consider if this relationship is worth the emotional toll. Life’s too short to be anything but happy!
On the flip side, keep an eye out for green flags in guys. These are positive signs that show he’s respectful, communicative, and genuinely interested in your well-being. The right partner will not only avoid the red flags but also make you feel valued and appreciated.
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