Benching In Dating: Signs You're On The Sidelines And What To Do

Team MyMuse - Oct 14, 2024

If you’ve ever felt like someone’s backup plan, you’re experiencing benching in dating. Learn how to spot it and get yourself back in the game.

I’m no stranger to the wild world of modern dating, but my experience with “benching” left me feeling like I was in an endless loop of confusion. You know, one moment we’re vibing, making plans, and having fun. Then poof they’re gone, only to resurface weeks later with a casual, “Hey, stranger.” If you've ever felt like a backup plan in someone else’s romantic playbook, welcome to the club!

What Is Benching in Dating?

In short, benching in dating is when someone keeps you on the sidelines while they explore other romantic options. Unlike ghosting, benching in dating doesn’t involve completely cutting you off. Instead, they’ll pop back in with a little breadcrumb here and there just enough to keep you hanging on. Thanks to dating apps, the benching phenomenon is more common than ever. After all, with so many “fish in the sea,” why commit to just one?

A woman saying, “I don’t need you anymore.”

Signs You’re Being Benched

Wondering if you’ve taken a seat on someone’s dating bench? Here are some telltale signs:

Inconsistent Communication

Radio silence interrupted by random texts or last-minute plans is a classic move by the bencher. If you only hear from them sporadically and never quite know when they’ll surface, that’s a sign.

Hot and Cold Behavior

Are they affectionate and attentive one moment and talking about sharing a Loop ring for men, only to go MIA the next? If you’re getting whiplash from their mood swings, you’re probably being benched.

Vagueness or Avoidance of Commitment

Ever feel like they’re keeping you at arm's length? Maybe they dodge relationship talk or are noncommittal about when they’ll see each other next. The bencher loves keeping things ambiguous.

One-Sided Effort

If you’re always the one initiating contact or planning dates, you’re putting in way more effort than they are. It’s a one-sided game, and that’s a strong indicator of benching in dating. You are better off with a personal massager for women.

Why People Bench Others

People bench for a variety of reasons. Maybe they’re afraid of commitment, or maybe they love the ego boost of keeping multiple people interested. Then there’s the paradox of choice dating apps make it easy to keep searching for “the one,” even if it means stringing a few folks along just in case. Essentially, benchers are out for attention, validation, or simply enjoying the thrill of having backup options on speed dial.

What To Do If You’re Being Benched

If you’ve noticed these signs, it’s time to take action:

Set Boundaries: Know your worth. Don’t accept lukewarm treatment or let someone treat you like a backup plan.
Communicate Your Needs: Be honest about what you want from the relationship. If they’re not on the same page, don’t be afraid to walk away.
Know When to Move On: If you’re putting in all the effort while they keep you hanging, cut your losses. Real connections require genuine effort from both sides.
Create A Self-Care Routine: Take this as a chance to reconnect with yourself by using self-care products. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you, and don’t settle for anyone who doesn’t prioritize you.

Conclusion

Modern dating can be a game, but you deserve to be someone’s main priority, not just a benchwarmer. Recognizing benching in dating is the first step towards reclaiming your self-worth. Remember, you don’t have to wait around for someone to make up their mind. You’re worth a real connection with someone who’s all in.