8-Step Guide to Sliding Into Someone's DMs & Stay

Team MyMuse - Oct 14, 2024

Shoot your shot like a pro! Follow our guide on sliding into DMs with confidence, wit, and the perfect approach to keep them interested.

Sliding into someone’s DMs whether on Instagram, Twitter, or even LinkedIn (yup, we’ve all seen those) has become the modern-day equivalent of sending a love note across the room. But just like those notes, there's a right and a very wrong way to go about it.

You want to come off smooth, not desperate; fun, not cringey; and confident, not creepy. That’s where this guide comes in your step-by-step playbook on how to craft the perfect DM, and most importantly, how to keep the conversation alive. Ready? Let’s get sliding.

How To Slide Into Someone’s DMs

Step 1: Know Your Boundaries

It seems like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how many DMs on dating apps end up feeling invasive or overly aggressive. Sending unsolicited "hey beautiful" messages? Creepy. Sliding in with a flirty comment on every single one of their posts? Creepy. Saying anything remotely related to body parts? No, thank you.

Not getting a reply after your first message? It’s fine. Social media isn’t real life; people get busy or may not check their DMs often. What you don’t want to do is spam their inbox with multiple messages like "Hello?" or "You there?" That’s one way to get ghosted by them.

Pro tip: If they leave you on read, take the hint gracefully. No one owes you their time, and sometimes silence is an answer.

Step 2: Do Your Research, but Don’t Be a Stalker

Before implementing your strategy on ‘how to slide into someone’s DMs’, take a good look at their profile find something in common, but be careful not to come off as a stalker who knows what they had for lunch three weeks ago. Maybe you both love traveling, share a passion for dogs, or recently watched the same series. Use that information to personalize your message.

Instead of a bland, “Hey, how’s it going?”, Try, “I noticed you’re a huge fan of Ted Lasso! What did you think of the last season?”

See the difference? You’re creating a connection instead of relying on a generic greeting. But again, don’t overdo it with hyper-specific references to posts from months ago balance is key.

Step 3: Be Genuine, Not Generic

We’ve all received those cringe-inducing conversation starters that just say, “Wassup?” or worse, “Hey.” Guess what? They don’t work. Why? Because they show zero effort. Instead, be authentic. If you’re genuinely interested in someone, your message should reflect that. Use humor, if appropriate, or ask an open-ended question that invites conversation. Imagine you’re starting a real-life conversation with someone at a party keep it natural and light-hearted. Here’s a fun opener:

“I need your expert opinion: Dogs in sunglasses yay or nay?”

It’s quirky, light-hearted, and invites the other person to engage with you in a way that feels fun rather than forced.

Step 4: Respond Thoughtfully to Stories

Instagram Stories and Twitter Fleets are prime real estate for DM sliding. A good way to slide into someone’s DMs without being too forward is by responding to their stories. This gives you a natural, organic reason to message them. But here’s the catch don’t just send emojis as your response. You’ll get lost in a sea of hearts and fire emojis from other people. Instead, respond thoughtfully. Are are some examples of how to slide into someone’s DMs.

If they posted a picture of a concert, say something like, “Wow, that looks amazing! What was the best part?”
If they shared a travel post, go with something like, “That beach looks incredible! I’ve always wanted to visit. What’s your top travel tip?”
Your goal is to make them feel like you’re actually interested in what they’re sharing because you are, right?

Step 5: Keep the Conversation Balanced

DMs are a two-way street. The goal is to keep things flowing naturally. Avoid one-sided conversations where you’re doing all the talking (or worse, all the asking). Instead, ask open-ended questions that encourage them to share more about themselves.

Here’s an example:

Bad: “What’s your favorite color?”
Good: “I’m curious, what’s your go-to weekend activity when you’re not posting cool pics?”

It’s a subtle difference, but one that invites more than a one-word answer. You can also try prompts from our Truth Or Dare Party Game.

Step 6: Match Their Energy

Once you’ve started chatting, pay attention to their communication style and match their vibe. Are they using emojis? GIFs? Short, punchy sentences or long, thoughtful replies? Adjust your messaging to their style to create a natural rhythm. This shows that you’re actively engaged in the conversation, not just waiting for your turn to speak.

For instance, if they’re light-hearted and using LOLs and smiley faces, don’t reply with overly formal language like, “That is quite amusing.” Instead, go with something like, “LOL, same! That’s hilarious 😂.”

But don’t be too informal!

Step 7: Know When to Exit (But Make it Smooth)

How to slide into someone’s DMs? I’ll give you the best advice: Know when to exit. We’ve all been in those conversations where the vibe is starting to die down, but you keep hanging on, afraid to let it end. Instead of dragging out a conversation until it fizzles, leave them wanting more. End on a high note when things are still fun and engaging. For example:

“Alright, I have to run, but I’ll catch you later! This was fun 😄.”

This keeps things light and shows you’re not desperate to keep the conversation going indefinitely just to use Dating Cards with them. Plus, it opens the door for future DMs.

Step 8: Follow-Up, But Don’t Be Clingy

Okay, so you nailed the first DM slide congrats! But now comes the tricky part: the follow-up. The key here is consistency without being clingy. You don’t want to come off like you’re constantly lurking in their DMs, but you also don’t want to ghost them. Find a happy medium.

A great way to reinitiate contact is by sending something that reminds you of them a funny meme, maybe a self-care product or a link to something they’d like, or a quick, “Hey, saw this and thought of you!” It’s casual, thoughtful, and shows that you’re paying attention.

Conclusion: It’s About Playing the Long Game

How to slide into someone’s DMs? Well, it isn’t about hitting them with one amazing message and winning them over instantly. It’s about showing consistent, genuine interest without overwhelming the person. Play the long game keep things fun, light, and flirty without ever crossing into cringe territory.

And remember, the goal isn’t just to slide in it’s to stay and score a date night. Keep the conversation alive, and who knows? Maybe your next DM slide will lead to something more. But if it doesn’t, our massagers will be here for you 💝