Temperature play can be an interesting way to bring some excitement to intimate relationships. Here’s everything you need to know about it.
Picture this: a cosy evening, a dimly lit room, an entire station with all kinds of curious articles, and my partner who was waiting for me, with an impish grin. I had received a text from him earlier in the day that just read,“🧊 or 🔥?” I knew he was up to something, but I truly was not prepared for what was to come. The closer I went to where he was seated, the clearer it became to me that that evening was going to be anything but usual. Excitedly, I looked at him and then at the station that he’d set up, and then back at him. And then, my eyes widened and a delicious shiver ran down my spine—we were finally going to try out temperature play.
Fire Or Ice? What’s Your Pick?
My first introduction to the idea of temperature play was through Mills & Boon's novels, back in the early 2010s. The stories were steamy enough to keep you coming back for more. But they only ever spoke of using cold water or ice cubes. Normally, I have a tough time agreeing on the ‘right’ AC temperature, so I couldn’t necessarily relate to having something cold on my body when it’s already freezing. But, I was curious about it nevertheless.
I did a cursory search on the interwebs and found that people liked wax play- having hot wax poured on some specific sweet spots to heighten their arousal. Ngl, that sounded a bit…extreme. However, when my current partner brought it up (sneakily, might I add), I confessed that I was intrigued and open to trying it too.
After, many ‘random’ conversations and endless hints to each other came that fortuitous evening, and it could only be described as a sensory rollercoaster. The anticipation hung in the air as we exchanged mischievous glances. “Well, what will it be?” he asked, eagerly. With a sly grin, I picked up an ice cube, feeling its chill seep into my fingertips. "Let's start with a touch of frost," I replied, my own eagerness mirroring his.
We continued our playful exploration, alternating between ice and warm oil massages and I found myself lost in a sea of pleasure. That night was a revelation. Temperature play opened up a world of sensations I never knew existed. So without further ado, here’s everything you need to know about it.
Getting Cosy with Temperature Play

It's all about using objects and techniques that are either hotter than a summer day or colder than your ex's heart. Think ice cubes, massage oils for seduction (like Glow Arousing), or even something skin-safe like Melt massage candles. The magic here? It's all about playing with your skin's senses to create that oh-so-tingly feeling that can go from a gentle tease to a full-blown firework show.
Test it Out: Before you try it on your partner, test the temperature on yourself first. No one wants any accidental burns or frostbite surprises.
Have the Talk: Chat about what's cool and what's not before you dive into this icy-hot adventure. Set boundaries, express preferences, and make sure you're both on the same page.
The Safety Dance: Sorry to break it to you, but open flames are not the vibe here. No matches or lighters. Opt for safer alternatives like massage candles that are meant for this kind of play, or warmed-up oils.
Keep it Clean: Keep things hygienic. Clean your play objects before they join the party to avoid any unwanted infections. No one wants that kind of an after-party.
What You Should Put In Your Temperature Play Toolkit
Ice Cubes
Ice cubes are the OG of temperature play. They're simple, accessible, and effective. Glide an ice cube along your partner's skin, watching them shiver with delight. Or, if you're up for a challenge, hold the ice cube in your mouth before going down on them.
Warm Oils

By gently heating massage oils and drizzling them over your partner's body, you'll create a sensation that's not just warm but also incredibly intimate. The contrast between the oil's temperature and their skin will have them melting with pleasure.
Massage Candles
Let the melted wax drip onto your partner's skin from a safe distance, combining the warmth of the wax with the heat of your touch. It's like a sensual dance between fire and skin that will leave both of you captivated.
Pro tip: Melt is one of the best massage candles, for this very purpose. It even makes for a great birthday gift for your girlfriend or partner.
Chilled or Heated Objects
Experiment with metal or glass toys, warm them up or cool them down, and take your partner on a rollercoaster of unexpected pleasure. If things get hot and heavy, don’t forget to use a lot of oil based lubricant like Slick. You can also try warming lubes if you’re feeling adventurous.
Sensory Play Implements
Why settle for just one sensation? Create a kit that includes a variety of objects like feathers and stockings. Blindfold your partner and surprise them with an array of contrasting touches that'll have them guessing what's next.
If you’re still curious about temperature play, I’ll say this: it's a journey that'll not only awaken your senses but also deepen your connection with your partner in ways you never thought possible. It opened up a world of sensations I never knew existed, and it did so in a way that felt both intimate and exhilarating. It's time to turn up the heat and embrace the thrill.
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