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Micro-Cheating Explained: Are You Crossing the Line?

Team MyMuse - Sep 26, 2024

Learn how to spot and stop micro-cheating before it damages your relationship. This guide will help you recognize the signs and strengthen your bond with your partner.

Take this Muser as an example of micro-cheating. They confessed to liking pictures of Instagram models, even after their partner explicitly told them not to. Naturally, they asked, “Am I cheating?” The knee-jerk reaction might be to say, "No way!" There's no sexual or romantic connection between this Muser and the Instagram models. Heck, the models don’t even know they exist! So what’s the harm, right?

Well… not quite.

What Is Micro-Cheating In Relationships?

Cheating isn't always the dramatic, movie-worthy affair people imagine. It can be something as subtle as repeatedly doing something you know will hurt your partner. In this case, it’s not about whether the Instagram models are involved, but about the emotional impact on the relationship. Cheating = Breach of trust, plain and simple. That is also what is called micro-cheating.

Signs You Might Be Micro-Cheating

Now that you know what micro-cheating is but you’re not sure if you're toeing the line, Here’s a checklist to help you figure it out:

  • Are you doing something you wouldn't want your partner to know about?
  • Do you feel a little thrill or satisfaction from hiding it?
  • Are you seeking attention, validation, or excitement from someone who isn’t your partner?
  • If your partner did the same thing, would it hurt you?
  • Have you justified it to yourself with the thought, “It’s not really cheating”?

If you’ve answered "yes" to any of these, you might be micro-cheating without even realizing it.

A group of people saying, “oh yes, oh no”

How to Avoid Micro-Cheating

Set Clear Boundaries Together

Talk to your partner about what behavior crosses the line. What’s cool in your relationship might be totally off-limits in someone else’s, so make sure you’re both on the same page.

Keep Your Communication Open and Honest

If you’re hiding conversations or actions from your partner, ask yourself why. Being open about who you talk to and what you’re up to can prevent trust issues from creeping in. Try and keep your communication as smooth as the best lubricant gel & oils we’ve got. 

Check Your Intentions

Are you texting someone just to chat, or are you low-key seeking validation? If the latter, it might be time to reflect on why you're seeking attention outside your relationship.

Focus on Your Partner

Instead of looking for emotional boosts elsewhere, put that energy into your relationship and plan more date nights. Prioritize emotional intimacy with your partner—it’ll make you less likely to stray into micro-cheating territory.

Reassess Your Online Habits

If scrolling through Instagram models or keeping certain apps secret feels shady, it probably is. Reassess your social media habits and cut out anything that might make your partner uncomfortable. And don’t you try finding loopholes! The only loop in your relationship should be the Loop ring.

A woman asking, “Do you get that?”

Why Micro-Cheating Hurts

Micro-cheating might seem innocent, but it can slowly chip away at the foundation of your relationship—trust. That subtle thrill you get from keeping something secret or receiving validation from someone outside the relationship can create a wedge. And while it might not look like a full-blown affair, the emotional consequences can still sting​

Is Micro-Cheating a Deal Breaker?

Now that we have answered your question, “What is micro-cheating?”, let’s see if it’s really an issue. Whether micro-cheating is a deal breaker depends on your relationship. Some people can brush it off, while others see it as a sign of deeper dissatisfaction. In either case, small acts of micro-cheating can add up, and that slow erosion of trust can be just as damaging as physical cheating​.

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