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Why Is Female Self-Pleasure Still A Taboo?

Fingers or full body massager: a little self-love never hurt anyone.

Remember when you were growing up and your parents would casually avoid all questions about sexuality and pleasure? It’s no surprise that so many women today report being unable to orgasm. Even when it comes to masturbation, women have always been made to feel embarrassed about it. But why? The reason is simple: Pleasure just isn’t talked about! 

Female self-pleasure, needless to say, has been an extremely elusive subject for decades now. For many, it remains an enigma shrouded in mystery. But have you ever wondered why it’s always so hush-hush? Why are we at such a loss of words when it comes to women touching themselves? Why do we have a million phrases to talk about jerking off, but just one for vulva and clits? Talking about it and acknowledging its awesomeness is the first step to shattering the stigma and understanding the beauty of flicking the bean. Let’s dig in.

“Female Masturbation is Gross”. Says who?

There’s a narrative that female sexuality is weird. This taboo leads to the subjugation of women (even in bed) and perpetuates the patriarchal power structure. And, what’s to blame here is the idea of ‘dominance and subordinance’. But the question still remains– is female pleasure the last real taboo in our society? It’s important to think about where and how we may have been conditioned to hold these beliefs, when female pleasure is just as natural a desire as our male counterparts. 

Why the discrepancy?

While a boy’s sexual conquests are often bragged and joked about, women are taught to watchfully protect their virginity. From dismal sex education in schools to mainstream media & pornography, the female perspective of pleasure is either barely discussed or entirely avoided. 

Our take? Giving yourself a hand when you feel the urge or need some affection is as valid as feeding yourself with a pack of chips when you’re hungry– no matter what your gender is. Sex and pleasure are innate, natural instincts for most of us. Let’s shatter the glass ceiling, from the boardroom to the bedroom. 

In the name of Equality for Masturbation!

Whether in bedrooms across the world, or on porn sites accessed through our phones, there has always been an overwhelming focus on male desires. Women are seen almost to  serve as vehicles to men’s pleasure, with sexual intercourse culminating and closing when the male partner ejaculates. This has lead many women to grow up assuming that the focus of sex should be only on their partner’s pleasure.

Celebrating and exploring your own body, regardless of your gender, and learning more about it through the simple joys of masturbation, is a major step in levelling the playing field in the bedroom. Women, just like men, should feel empowered and safe to discover their own bodies through masturbation or any other means– after all, one person’s pleasure means pleasure for all. 

So ladies, start setting aside a few hours to simply explore your body and start treating pleasure as a vital part of your being. Remember, pleasure should be empowering rather than an act of oppression. Have a happy play time ladies! 

You might also like: An Ode to the Big “O”

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