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Owning Your Sexuality

Owning Your Sexuality

Embrace your sexuality and #BeYourOwnMuse whether you’re looking to mate, date, or just chill and masturbate.

From Mughal miniature paintings to Khajuraho and the Kamasutra, our culture has always found ways of depicting and illustrating sexuality in all its rich (and erotic) history. So why do we, even in 2021, struggle to honestly talk about our sexuality and what it means to us? Sure, we talk about sex, and maybe have a laugh or two with our friends about our most recent sex-capade. But how many of us go beyond the sexual report card? And why do we shame those of us who dare to wear our sexuality on our sleeve?

There is no rule out there that says all sexually empowered people must be deviants. Gone are the days when only the bad guys in the movies are sexually expressive or "promiscuous". A person can be sexually liberated and be sanskaari. They are not (and never were) mutually exclusive concepts.

It’s time we took some inspiration from our predecessors, and begin to own our sexuality like the glorious beings we are.


Shattering Shame

“The more we are as sexual beings, the more fulfilled we are as human beings.” - Amy Jo Goddard, Sexual Empowerment Coach.

No, we’re not going to tell you how to be your own wind-keeper like Phoebe (#iykyk). This is about owning how you choose to lead and approach your sexuality, and by extension your life. There’s no point in living in worry and shame, on the off chance that you might offend some random relative you only see once a decade.

Remember: You are in charge of your sexuality. You don’t have to talk about sex if you don’t want to - but if you do, then you should. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, you do you and that’s all that matters.

Ditch the Labels

If you’re looking for "The One", but don’t want to give up on your friends with benefits set-up, you’re not alone. Our generation has done a great job of throwing most hard and fast dating rules out the window. Marriage is slowly becoming optional, polyamory is a thing, and open relationships are slowly but surely coming out of the shadows. So if you're not sure about your situation, don't stress about labels and just go with the flow. Take your time to see what works, and only put a label on it if and when you want to, not because you feel pressured.

Also read: 
5 Things NEVER To Say To A Transgender Person

How Sex Toys Helped Me As An Asexual Person

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Sexuality Minus Sex

Contrary to what you might see while you scroll, tap and swipe, sexual empowerment isn’t just about #freethenipple and #loveislove. “As a society, we often conflate sexual liberation with sexual availability, which is a potentially dangerous narrative,” explains Jamie LeClaire, a sexologist and sex and relationship educator.

“Being in touch with your sexuality can also mean knowing that you don’t want sex. ”

Don't get me wrong, sexual empowerment can absolutely mean having a lot of sex, but it doesn't have to. You can also be having tons of sex and not be sexually empowered. What it boils down to is power and autonomy. 

Be Your Own Muse

We often live life by looking at others– the way they dress, dine and decorate their homes. Unfortunately there just isn’t a Pinterest board on how to approach your sexuality, but there’s no reason why you can’t create your own. Start with looking at yourself, not just with a hand mirror but your entire body.

Slowly put together a mental mood-board of your sexual vibe. Once you understand what works for you, you’ll know how to explore it further and tap into your inner muse. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what type of sex you’re having or wanting, the best gift you can give yourself is to accept, understand and take charge of your sexuality.


** This article was written by MyMuse team member, Nazma Kazani. If you have a perspective you'd like to share, get in touch with us on

While our contributors do research a great deal to give you up to date and relevant content, this is basis publicly available information. Our contributors are not doctors or healthcare service providers and our content does not constitute or act as a substitute for medical advice or diagnosis under applicable laws. All suggestions, advice, points of view etc., are meant for adults in the privacy of their own homes.

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