It’s time to stop listing out your sweet spots, and learn how to give them the love and care they deserve.
Earlier this month, we partnered with the lovely folks at Vitamin Stree to bring you a myth-shattering video exploring whether the G-Spot really exists. Check out the full video for some major insight into how this pop-culture mainstay came into our collective consciousness. Spoiler alert– we say there’s no such thing as one magical button you can push that teleports you to pleasure-ville.
The supposed existence of this holy grail of pleasure puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on vulva-owners to achieve the elusive ‘G-Spot Orgasm’ (which btw, in our recent Insta poll, 75% of respondents said they’d never actually experienced). And it adds a lot of pressure on their partners too, who often end up fumbling around in an attempt to push said non-existent button.
In today’s article, we’re urging all of you dear readers to abandon the notion that we all need to take the same route to pleasure, and instead enjoy exploring all our spots– minus the pressure.
Pushing All The Right Buttons
There is no doubt that most of us are aware of the lovely little pleasure points across our bodies. We’re sure some of you could even make a list of them from top to toe. But what every listicle, lifestyle magazine, and even Monica from FRIENDS forgot to tell you was what to do with these sensitive sweet spots. It’s like giving you the ingredients to an oh-so amazing cake, without telling you the techniques to achieve a beautiful, bouncy gateau. Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, in her podcast Sex with Dr. Jess, suggests:
"you need not fixate on just one part, and rather approach erogenous zones in a way that feels natural to you and your partner(s)."
A Spot of Theory
While we would all love a secret formula or a get-rich-quick version for orgasms, it’s safe to say that there just is no one-stop-shop to the climax of your dreams. So what about the ever so famous G Spot and its male counterpart P (for prostate) Spot? Are they all just a part of a great big sex conspiracy? What all vulva-owners and those who pleasure them need to know is that in reality, there is no actual physical location of this bean like button.
Even when it comes to men, research remains inconclusive about the powers of the prostate in being the holy grail of male orgasms. And so, with anything that has a great pay out, we have to put in the hard work and due diligence in order to taste the sweet (and maybe salty) nectar of pleasure. Remember to hit the sweet spots that you do know about, and the ones you can see. Make foreplay your coreplay and see your partner(s) moan, growl and praise the Lord’s glory.
Grey Matters - The Ultimate Erogenous Zone
When it comes to the matters of pleasure, none of our areas would get anywhere without first stimulating the imagination, developing trust, and getting into the right mood.
"Flirting, communication, and eroticism often tend to deliver bigger sexual highs than physical modes of play. "
So talk dirty, smother yourself or your partner(s) with compliments, or tell each other exactly what you want to do to each other to get into that heightened state of arousal. In fact, mere anticipation may be enough to raise the levels of the all too famous “pleasure chemical” dopamine. So why not elongate your exploration of erogenous zones? There clearly is no right or wrong, just pleasurable adventure to be had on this erogenous expedition.
Touch Techniques to Try
From the back: If you want to explore the entire body, a great way to go is by moving the back of your fingertips slowly across it. For those who would rather go fast and hard over soft and slow, try an alternating technique where you use the backs of your fingertips with one hand, and add pressure on other parts with a second hand, to heighten the sense of pleasure.
Breath Kiss: Popularised by the Kama Sutra, the breath kiss basically involves you licking your lips and breathing kisses over the surface of your partner’s skin, without letting your lips touch it. Get as close as possible, but blow even softer than you would on a birthday candle, and leave soft exhales over the erogenous zone(s) of your choice.
Wet Trace: Create a path using your tongue or some lube across the body and then slowly traverse it by breathing warm and gentle air over it with your mouth. Feel free to add some temperature play by pursing your lips to leave cold air over the path.
"Your body is most definitely a wonderland where you can find your favourite erogenous zone by yourself, with a partner or a toy of your choice. Get exploring!”
** This article was written by one of our talented contibutors, Nazma Kazani. If you have a perspective you'd like to share, get in touch with us on firstname.lastname@example.org.
While our contributors do research a great deal to give you up to date and relevant content, this is basis publicly available information. Our contributors are not doctors or healthcare service providers and our content does not constitute or act as a substitute for medical advice or diagnosis under applicable laws. All suggestions, advice, points of view etc., are meant for adults in the privacy of their own homes.