The untold truth about being a bridesmaid.
Being asked to be a bridesmaid is an honor, and undoubtedly an exciting role to play for that special girlfriend in your life. However, it’s a role that comes with many responsibilities and duties. For starters– it’s about more than just ordering penis-shaped cakes, coordinating outfits, and busting out some bomb moves. And the job description usually leaves out some crucial details and skill-sets you need to be a badass bridesmaid.
In complete honesty, being a bridesmaid is not for the faint-hearted. Nobody tells you that you need to be able to perform under immense pressure, make important decisions, and literally put out fires as a bridesmaid (not just a figure of speech, keep reading to find out). But, if like me, you had zero clue what this role entails– this article is for you.
The Bachelorette Is A Russian Roulette:
The Bridesmaid’s primary goal is often to plan and throw a memorable bachelorette party for her bestie: the time the bride is supposed to have the most fun as a single woman with her OG gang. Planning the perfect bachelorette is kind of a big deal. Here are some very real exchanges from The Boss Babe Bridesmaids Whatsapp group:
Do we do the penis cake?
Is it too tacky?
But so what if it’s tacky? We just want to have some fun, and a bachelorette party wouldn’t be complete without one.
What about a stripper?
Yaar, where do we even find a stripper? We’re in India!
Well, N’s cousin’s best friend’s bachelorette party had a stripper, right?
Let’s just google it!
What is the theme?
Where do we throw the party btw? Goa?
Isn’t Goa just overrated Pondicherry?
What are we gonna gift her?
Do we invite X?
Dude! Are you serious? After what went down between them last year?
One wrong move can mean you’ve ruined the last remnants of fun, single life for your bride. Okay, that may be an exaggeration. But making the right decisions can be overwhelming, and keeping your bride’s best interests at heart is super important. We all love surprises, but maybe some matters are best discussed with the star of the show before you go all out.
What are the bride’s boundaries, who do they want (or not) at their bachelorette, what is their take on scantily clad men dancing upon them? These are some important questions that can’t be left out.
And hey, if you’re ever confused about what to give the bride for the bachelorette party, I’ve got four words for you: The Getting Down Kit. Something that the bride can use solo and with her boo? Now that’s going to override a penis-shaped cake and strippers any day.
Calling The Shots (Tequila & Timely Decisions)
As a bridesmaid, you’ll have to make some critical decisions. Trust me, deciding between A Rouge Sabyasachi Lehenga and A Grey Embroidered Gown With Cape By Pink Peacock Couture might not sound like an important decision, but it’s going to mean a world of difference for the bride, and your objective opinion is much needed.
It’s not just outfits! From the songs for Sangeet to the shades for makeup, it’s an all-hands-on-deck situation. I’ve seen that honest and informed opinions work the best. It’s also important to remember that it’s not about you. It is the bride’s special day (or week, or month).
You may be overwhelmed with the options, so stay calm, go with the flow and do what’s best for the bride (a little booze won’t hurt either). And as they say, when life gives you lemons, you cut ‘em up, grab some salt and make tequila shots.
Maneuvering Meltdowns & Diffusing Drama :
Everyone always talks about how beautiful, emotional, and sweet weddings are. But no one ever mentions the responsibilities, stress, and hard work strapped on the back of the bridesmaids.
Trust me. I’ve come across some ruthless bridezilla moments. Weddings can be incredibly stressful for the bride, and they are likely on edge throughout the occasion. So even small things can tick them off, and a meltdown is always around the corner. Here are some hypothetical situations– you can guess which one leads to a breakdown.
A: Venue decorated with roses instead of the pre-approved tulips
B: A drunk uncle is causing a scene
C: A broken acrylic nail
D: A misplaced ring
If you guessed only one option, you need a beginner’s course on being a bridesmaid. Because the severity of the situation does not matter, anything could lead to a meltdown, and you have to be ready all the time. Of course, the bride is going to react. The poor woman has to wear something that weighs a hundred pounds, have a million bobby pins stuck to her hair, and go through seven different outfit changes. You need to be understanding and rational at these moments. When you see a meltdown brewing, it’s best to nip it in the bud. Keep her well-fed, hydrated, and even throw in a foot massage.
(Try Glow Relaxing - Perfect for both stressed-out brides and overworked bridesmaids)
Sometimes it’s not even the bride. Anyone at the wedding could cause drama. It could be the typical drunk uncle, a rogue aunty handing out unsolicited advice, a bridesmaid who’s had too much to drink and needs medical attention (true story). You have to keep the vibe drama-free. When sh*t hits the fan, you need to be in zen mode. And above all, you have to be the bride’s official hype woman and remind her just to have fun.
At the end of the day, when you see your girl getting married to the love of her life, your hard work and immaculate planning pays off in the glimpse of her smile. You adore the beautiful couple at a breathtaking location thinking to yourself “damn that rouge lehenga really makes her eyes pop in this light.” At this moment, you can’t help but feel left out. Of course, you want this for yourself, and the FOMO kicks in, although you feel happy for the bride.
And, naturally, we all feel this way. I, too, was lost in thoughts at the last wedding that I attended as a bridesmaid. As someone who had never wanted to get married, at that moment, even I felt left out. Until I saw one of the bridesmaids’ hair catch on fire from the Aarti, and I had to put out the fire without distracting from the main event.
So yeah, it’s not all roses and beautiful beach-side venues. Weddings can get very real and stressful, especially if you’re a bridesmaid. But knowing that you had a part to play in something meaningful for someone you love makes it all worth it. And you’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.
Also read: Where Did Galentine's Day Come From?