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In the realm of self-pleasure, post-masturbation guilt can be an unwelcome guest, even for those of us well into our 30s. Join me on this very personal journey and discover practical ways of dealing with it for yourself too!
Picture this: you've just had a steamy solo adventure, and it feels like you've unlocked the secrets of the universe. But suddenly, amidst the euphoria, this feeling sneaks in. Yeah, that's been my experience, even though I’m now 32 years old. The guilt after masturbation is like an unexpected visitor that crashes my post-bliss party, and it often leaves me pondering this peculiar paradox. Trust me, it's as perplexing to me as it may be to you.
Even though I know that there's nothing wrong with solo dates in the bedroom, I can't help but question my actions. I guess, deep down, I know why. It doesn’t happen as frequently now, but the guilt after masturbation is always lurking around somewhere.
Growing up, discussions about anything remotely related to sex were super awkward. Heck, my mother blushes even if I shorten brassiere (ew) to just ‘bra’. So as you can imagine, there really was never any space to discuss sex. I fully understand that it’s just how she’s been conditioned. But these experiences made me internalize guilt and sex myths about something that should be entirely natural.
Acknowledging my guilt after masturbation has been a journey of self-acceptance. I'm learning to embrace the idea that self-pleasure is okay and doesn't deserve a guilt trip ticket. Through years of speaking with therapists and friends, and unlearning and detaching myself from the stigma, I’m now at a much better place.
I mean, come on. I’m a pleasure writer FFS. One would think that it’d be easier for me.
Here are three things that have been helping me through this process. Our journeys are deeply personal to ourselves. And by no means, if this doesn’t work for you, you shouldn’t force it.
Educate Yourself
Masturbation is natural and it has many physical and psychological benefits. It’s a normal part of the human experience and should be treated as such. Understand where your feeling of guilt is coming from. If it’s stemming from an adverse experience or it’s the stigma that makes you feel this way speak with a trusted therapist or a friend and equip yourself with all the information you need.
Pro-tip: Head over to unLearn and check out our guides on all things pleasure!
Practice Mindfulness & Self-Compassion
Stay in the present and reduce overthinking. I know, it is easier said than done. But, try this - the next time you’re at the end of a solo session, embrace yourself in a warm hug. It may be awkward and funny in the beginning, but lean into it! It’ll soon become your own way to end your session on a high note. It’s important to be kind to yourself; self-compassion can help ease feelings of guilt after masturbation.
Pro-tip: Try using the best lubricant gel or oil you can find(like Slick or Glow) and give yourself a massage to prolong the euphoria after a particularly satisfying session!
Try Something New
Create a comfortable and judgment-free space for yourself. Ensure your surroundings are free from potential triggers. Personally, using vibrating massagers has helped me hugely. I’d totally recommend the Breeze mini massager for women because it’s one of the best body massagers in India with this unique suction tech. It’s something I’ve grown to love and it’s too good.
Pro-tip: Breeze makes for a great birthday gift for your wife or partner (or if you are a V-owner, get it for yourself, sis!). Trust me, they’ll love it.
These days, I'm working on showing myself some compassion instead of dwelling on this feeling. It's a journey, and I'm okay with that. Talking openly with partners or friends has helped me gain different perspectives, too. It’s important to remember that overcoming guilt after masturbation is a personal journey, and it may take time. Be patient with yourself as you work towards a healthier and more guilt-free relationship with self-pleasure.
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