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Breaking down them norms.

We're on a mission to create a judgement-free space where we can discuss sex, life, love and the bedroom. But how can we really do that before busting some good ol’ fashioned myths and breaking some norms, dear reader?

It’s 2020, after all – and in this post pandemic world, sex isn’t how people knew it to be half a century ago. It’s time to change mindsets (as we change masks), open up discussions (as we close down our social lives) and break out of the box (as we stay at home) when it comes to conversations about sex. And you can’t bust out some real talk before busting some myths and misconceptions that people might have turned into unsubstianted norms. So are you ready to cancel out some fake news about fornication? Here we go!

Norm 1: It's the man's job to carry the condom.

Reality: Say goodbye to the rules of the patriarchy as you read this, because it’s everyone’s responsibility to carry a condom. There’s no sex sexier than safe sex, so make sure you carry the condom like the fashion accessory it is (Lady Gaga’s words, not ours). After all, what even is a man’s job anyway?

Norm 2: Sex isn't the real deal without penetration.

Reality: Great sex doesn’t have to end with penetration. In fact, it doesn’t even need to involve penetration. Let’s put it this way: penetrative sex is a heteronormative concept, and like the spectrum of sexuality, the number of different ways you can achieve an orgasm are infinite. Use your hands, mouth, fabric, lotions and massagers, and you’ll be penetrating new peaks of pleasure in no time.

Norm 3: Sex toys are bad for people.

Reality: Remember how toys made everything better when we were children? Time to give your adult life the (toy) story upgrade it deserves (so many Woody jokes here, but we’ll refrain). Sex toys are fantastic for sex play together and when flying solo. Make it a shared s-experience with toys for both of you, and you’ll want to make playtime a part of your everyday schedule!

Norm 4: Women are less interested in sex than men are.

Reality: No. Just…no.

We’d love to know the weirdest and wildest "norms" you’ve heard over the years, so please send 'em our way. Meanwhile, as you carry on with the course of your day and (hopefully) more important things than reading this blog, we hope you reflect on some norms you might have internalized over the years, and maybe even held sacred. So the next time you hear your friends casually slutshaming a girl (or a boy) for having multiple sexual partners, or passing an off-the-cuff homophobic comment as a joke – don’t hesitate to take them to school.

After all, the only way we can break norms in "society" is if we break them first within ourselves, and then our communities.

How, you ask? By being conscious of our own thoughts and actions, of beliefs both expressed and repressed. And by just trying to change, little by little, even if at first it feels like effort.

If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that there’s always a #newnormal just waiting to be found. And us humans, we’re far more adaptable creatures than we even realise. So let’s use some of that adaptability for the better. Let’s create a normal that accepts that there’s never just one normal.

 

This article was an excerpt from Musings005. Sign up so you don't miss out!

 

 

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While our contributors do research a great deal to give you up to date and relevant content, this is basis publicly available information. Our contributors are not doctors or healthcare service providers and our content does not constitute or act as a substitute for medical advice or diagnosis under applicable laws. All suggestions, advice, points of view etc., are meant for adults in the privacy of their own homes.

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